You so obviously cannot be gay , was her implication, because this is good sex. If you happened to engage in activity that ran counter to your sexual identity, then you had two options: you were lying to yourself and everyone else, or you were just experimenting. The sexual categories were rigid. My sexual journey through college was anything but run-of-the-mill. I came out at a conservative Christian college in the US and was in a gay relationship for around two years with a basketball player who ended up marrying a woman. I even went so far as to fall in love with one.
As a kid, I talked with a lisp and hated sports, and I preferred to sing and study. At some point, I learned that these are stereotypically gay male traits, and then I knew: I was going to grow up to be a gay man. I was wrong. For example, the most recent girl I kissed — and the one before that, and so on — drew back from my face, laughing.
By Melisa Raney, with illustrations by Ian Berry. Melisa Raney is a freelance writer and editor who lives in Atlanta with her two children. The views expressed in this commentary are her own. CNN By the time you reach your 30s, you think you know yourself -- your likes, your dislikes, what inspires you, what makes you tick. Sign up for our new newsletter.
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